What makes life meaningful? The movies we watch or those we watch them with? The work we do, or the promotion we get when it’s recognized? The diapers we change, or the child we are raising?

Here’s the hard truth. People say they want to live more meaningful lives, but they avoid the hard work associated with what makes life meaningful. The achievements that make life meaningful are predicated on hundreds – often thousands of hours and iterations of really hard work.

Starting a business, finishing a degree, acing an exam, a flawless recital, partnering with a VC, writing a book, raising a child. All of these are meaningful achievements, but they are predicated on tremendous effort. Lots of work. The biggest milestones in our lives are often achieved when we’re alone, tired, underappreciated and overworked, pushing through the fatigue.

But in the age of Tinder and Deliveroo, we have grown accustomed to the expectation of convenience. So how do we reconcile that? Well, I can tell you as a father to 5 kids, there’s nothing convenient about parenthood. And I can tell you after having spent 26 years of my life as a husband, there’s no “long term committed relationship” without the “long term” and the “committed.” My companies, books, degrees, everything of my life that is celebrated online, has not come easily, conveniently, or cheaply.

If you want a more meaningful life, here’s a few tips:

Work Your Job
Imagine what you could accomplish if you put your whole heart into your work? Connecting with people around you and being focused on your own goals will help you with a sense of purpose, but actually getting the work done will help others to recognize your efforts. Studies abound that show that engaged employees make more money, get more raises and promotions, and are more often headhunted by other companies. You’ll also be happier, healthier, and live longer.

Schedule the hard Things First
Most major accomplishments will require hundreds of hours of commitment and effort. Whether you’re writing a book, training for a marathon, or re-kindling the love in your primary relationship, you’ll need to do the hard work. No one is going to do it for you, and no one wants you to accomplish your goals more than you do. So if you’re not going to prioritize these things in your schedule, who will? I schedule time for the hard things at least 3 weeks in advance in my calendar, and I make them sacred, to ensure that I’m always working on the meaningful things.

Encourage Yourself
Living a highly fulfilling life means you’ll often be putting in effort alone, without a cheer squad, a marching band, or even a Like on Facebook to encourage you. You’ll need to be generous with self-encouragement. When I need to get something difficult done, and I get that feeling like I don’t want to do it, I often remind myself of how empty and hollow my life would be if I only did things that I wanted to do. If I only parented my kids when I felt like it, or only coached my clients when I was in the mood, what kind of life would I have? Pat yourself on the back for doing things you don’t want to do, so you can accomplish the big goals you want to achieve.

Follow Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule
We’ve never met in person, but I think Mel and I would get along pretty well IRL. She’d probably tell you that when you have any initial motivation for getting something done, rather than arguing with yourself about whether or not you should do it, just say, “Five.” Say it out loud, and then count back from 5 to 1, and get up and get going. You don’t have to finish what you are thinking about doing, but you do have to start, and put in at least 15 minutes of good effort. You never know, you might find a groove and stick to it for a couple of hours. But a couple of hours of solid effort starts by taking control of the first 5 seconds.

Get a Coach.
No one gets to the Olympics without a coach. If you’re serious about accomplishing something truly amazing in your life, it’s helpful to have someone whose professional responsibility it is to keep you focused and consistent in your progression. Whether it’s art, music, business, relationships, writing, or curating your own career path, a coach often makes the difference between a talented amateur and world-class player.

I also recommend that you follow me on Linkedin. I’m giving out tips like this daily, and I’d be happy to be a voice of constant encouragement in your life, even if it’s from the sidelines on your social media feed. Every little bit helps.
Ultimately, it’ll be up to you to kick your own ass. But the end result is worth the efforts you make today that no one else sees and only you know about.
Do it well, do it for yourself, your family, your goals. But get it done. Start now.
Now, what’s the big thing you want to achieve?
What’s the next step?
Say, “Five.”
“Four… “